A NEW FATHERS DAY
As a young husband and dad, I was often times overwhelmed by the roles and responsibilities and “pressure” to do everything and to do it perfectly. But as we learn in this life, that’s not how it works nor what is expected.
Fatherhood is a journey that comes with its own unique set of challenges. While many fathers strive to be the best dad and husband possible, there are certain things that they need to let go of to achieve that goal.
Recently in an article by Primer Magazine, some key topics were recognized that dads need to let go of to be better fathers and husbands. Here are 4 of my personal favorite points on this valuable conversation:
1.The need to be perfect
One of the biggest things that dads need to let go of is the need to be perfect. Many dads feel the pressure to be the perfect father and husband, but this is an unrealistic expectation. Perfection is unattainable, and striving for it will only lead to disappointment and frustration. Instead, dads should focus on progress, not perfection. It’s important to acknowledge mistakes and learn from them, but don’t beat yourself up over them.
Being a father is a learning process, and mistakes are a natural part of that process. Embrace the journey and focus on being the best dad you can be, rather than trying to be perfect. Kids and spouses need examples and models of ethics and values today more than ever. To be a good dad, I’ve learned I get my point across much better when I show eater than just “tell” my family what to do.
2.The idea that you have to do everything yourself
Another thing that dads need to let go of is the idea that they have to do everything themselves. Many dads feel like they have to be the sole provider for their family, but this is not the case. It’s okay to ask for help and include the family with responsibilities to others. This can include getting help with household chores, childcare, or even seeking advice from other fathers.
Working 2 or 3 jobs for decades is not healthy for dad, nor will it allow for more quality time with the family. Many of us have at times had to do it for a period. During dental school where I was on both a borrowed and fixed income, I worked on evenings and Saturdays are different side hustles to support my new family. When I bought my first practice I worked 70 hours a week or more very often and worked for other doctors to accelerate paying off debt.
You may have had similar experiences or are currently going through a time of transition like this right now. We all do what we have to do for a time, but it’s important to counterbalance FaceTime Swift the big picture on what matters most: the impact we leave on our families and communities.
It’s important to remember that being a good father is not about doing everything yourself, but rather about creating a supportive environment for your family.
3.The need to always be in control
Dads also need to let go of the need to always be in control. This can be difficult, as many dads feel like they need to be in charge and make all the decisions for their family. However, being overly controlling can be detrimental to both the father and the family.
It’s important to remember that being a good father means being a good listener and collaborator. It’s okay to let others take the lead and make decisions, especially when it comes to areas where they have more expertise.
4.The pressure to conform to traditional roles
Many dads feel pressure to conform to traditional roles, such as being the only or primary breadwinner or being emotionally isolated from the family. However, these roles are outdated and do not reflect the reality of modern fatherhood.
Being a good father means being involved and engaged in your family’s life, regardless of traditional roles. Being a good husband or father means being an example and leader, and supporting your family where they need it most. This is what is known as the “Servant Leadership” model where the best parents serve and support their family to teach and lead by example.
5. The belief that you can’t make mistakes
Lastly, dads need to let go of the belief that they can’t make mistakes. Many fathers feel like they have to be perfect, and that any mistake is a failure. However, mistakes are a natural part of life, and they provide an opportunity for growth and learning.
Being the best dad and husband you can be is not about being perfect or always being in control. Being a good father means being honest about your mistakes and taking responsibility for them. It also means learning from them and making changes to improve. Remember that progress is the key, not perfection.
Be open, supportive, and engaged in your family’s life. Mistakes are a natural and important part of the journey. This Father’s Day, take some time to reflect on what you can let go of to be a better father and husband.
Happy Father’s Day!